After Years of Unpaid Loans, Woman Tells Sister ‘No More Money Without a Written Agreement’

A woman turns to the Reddit community for advice following an emotional clash with her older sister over a financial boundary she says she can no longer ignore. After years of lending money with little repayment, she’s reached a breaking point.

“I have loaned my older sister money a few times over the past few years,” she explains, adding, “Nothing huge, usually a few hundred here, maybe a thousand once, but it’s added up.” Despite those repeated efforts to help, she says her sister has never really paid her back, only sending small amounts at random and offering ongoing excuses.

From lost jobs to bad breakups and car trouble, the sister’s reasons vary, but the result is the same: the money rarely comes back. “I never made a big deal out of it,” she writes. “She’s my sister, I love her, and I know she’s had a rough few years.”

But this time, when her sister asked for $2,000 to help with rent after a roommate suddenly moved out, she felt something shift. “And honestly I snapped a little,” she admits.

Instead of just sending the money, she offered a compromise. “I told her I could help but only if she signs a basic agreement this time saying she’ll pay it back within a year.”

She emphasizes it isn’t anything formal or legal, just a simple document outlining a clear repayment timeline. But her sister doesn’t take it well.

“She got super offended,” the poster reveals. “Said I’m treating her like some random borrower, not family.”

The older sister insists she would never take advantage of her, despite what the poster sees as a long history of exactly that. “She would never screw me over,” the sister says, but the poster quickly adds, “Even though… she kind of already has.”

The tension rises as the poster stands firm, trying to explain that it’s not about lacking trust but about needing boundaries. “I told her this isn’t about trust, it’s about boundaries,” she shares. “I’m not a bank.”

She also points out the strain these loans place on her own finances, saying, “I’m not exactly rich, I’m just better at budgeting and don’t live paycheck to paycheck like she does.” But the disagreement soon expands beyond the two sisters.

Now, their parents are involved, urging her to give in for the sake of family. “They’re telling me to just let it go, that family helps family,” she writes, clearly frustrated by the added pressure.

Still, she stands by her conditions. “I’m just tired of being the fallback plan with no accountability,” she says.

Though willing to help if her sister agrees to the terms, she doesn’t want to continue giving with no expectations. “If she was just paying all the loans I gave to her, I would not mind giving it,” she adds.

As she opens up to the Reddit community under the “Advice Needed” tag, she’s not just asking about the money. She’s asking if setting limits makes her the bad guy. One commenter offers a validating response: “You’re not a bank. Setting limits doesn’t make you the bad guy.”

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In the end, she’s left wondering if drawing a line with family is fair — or if it turns her into something she never wanted to be.