I’m 28, I Have A $228k Household Income & I Have An Issue With Who My Husband Voted For
My parents were teenage parents so they always stressed the idea that I didn’t “want to end up like them”, working very hard for very little. That said, they never finished high school, so even though I was expected to go to college, we had no idea how to pay for it or what the scholarship process looked like. I did one semester and dropped out, started working, met my husband B., and moved to New York. I’m currently enrolled in an associates program that I am taking my sweet time finishing and that I pay for in cash. If I don’t have the cash to pay the tuition, I skip classes that semester.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
My parents didn’t have a lot of financial literacy. They both grew up very poor, had me when they were young, and were doing their best to make a better life for me and my younger sister. I know that they had some retirement accounts but they were never discussed. Most of the time, any money conversations were about how we couldn’t afford XYZ.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was working the light board at my high school theater, for spending money. It was the only job my parents would let me have (because it was in school) and it paid $18 an hour, so even two or three hours was more money than a lot of my peers were making. Plus, all my friends were there. I also babysat from the time I was 11 to 15, but that was unpaid and just expected as the older female child.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes. All the time. My parents had me when they were 16 and my father was homeless until they were 18 and old enough to qualify for public assistance. We had Section 8 and food stamps growing up, until I was around eight and my parents qualified to buy their own home. By the time I was in high school, I knew better than to ask for anything. There was no money for allowances; sometimes there was money for bigger chores, but helping with the house was expected. I was paid in the privilege of getting to live there and getting to do (some) school activities. It was easier to try to find a way to get things myself than it was to ask for something, knowing that the answer was that we couldn’t afford it.
Do you worry about money now?
Sometimes. I know intellectually that I make decent money and I have excellent health insurance, finally, but I do have anxiety and I panic when I see large bills sometimes.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I moved out when I went to college at 17 and never moved back. I have a small savings and a small retirement and B. has some savings from his inheritance, but apart from that, I’m trying to pay off debt while living paycheck to paycheck. I do save though, so it’s not too bad.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My husband received around $90,000 when his grandmother passed away, and when we bought our house his parents gave us $25,000 toward the deposit and $25,000 for improvements. My dad gave us $10,000 and my mom gave us $5,000. When my stepdad died my mom paid off my car, our credit cards, and gave me some money that he had set aside (the total was around $25,000). She said he wanted $5,000 to be specifically for going on a vacation (which we did! We used it to go to Florida, rent a car and drive from Miami to Key West for B.’s birthday one year). Our parents also paid for half of our destination wedding in 2017 to the tune of about $20,000 total.
