Woman Says Her Boyfriend’s Sister Is Demanding They Don’t Get Engaged Before Her Wedding: ‘It Feels Unfair’

• A woman shared on Reddit that she and her boyfriend are hoping to get engaged soon, but his sister, who is getting married later this year, wants them to put their plans on hold until after her wedding
• The bride-to-be said “she doesn’t want any attention taken away from her big moment”
• But the Redditor feels that it’s “unfair” for her to ask the couple to delay their engagement on her behalf

A woman says she and her boyfriend are talking seriously about getting engaged soon — but his bride-to-be sister is trying to block their plans.

The 23-year-old woman detailed her dilemma in a post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——” forum, explaining that she and her boyfriend, also 23, have been together for a couple of years and are “both on the same page and excited about the idea” of taking their relationship to the next level with an engagement.

But the boyfriend’s 28-year-old sister, who is getting married later this year, is demanding that the couple hold off on getting engaged until after her wedding. Her reasoning? “She said she doesn’t want any attention taken away from her big moment and wants this time to be about her,” the OP (original poster) wrote.

While the OP said she understands “wanting to feel special,” she feels she and her boyfriend should be allowed to move forward with their relationship on their “own timeline,” especially since the couple doesn’t plan to announce or celebrate their engagement at any of the bride-to-be’s wedding events.

“It feels kind of unfair to put our lives on pause for her wedding,” the OP griped, noting that her boyfriend wanted to propose in April but now has to wait months.

The delayed engagement is also throwing off some of the couple’s other big life plans. “We were wanting to move into a house in June 2026 once our lease will be up, but it’s going to be hard to do that and plan a wedding in less than a year if we want to be married beforehand,” the OP noted.

She said that she and her boyfriend want to be “respectful” to his sister — but they are “also feeling conflicted” about having to defer to her on the timing of their engagement.

The OP concluded her post by asking fellow Redditors, “Is this a normal or reasonable thing to ask?Would love to hear what others think.”

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In the comments, many readers agreed that the boyfriend’s sister is being presumptuous and unreasonable by asking the couple to put their plans on hold for her wedding.

“She can’t gatekeep an entire year, and she doesn’t get to decide when you and your boyfriend move forward with your relationship timeline,” one person wrote, while another person echoed that same sentiment: “She doesn’t own all the time between now and her wedding,”

Someone else chimed in: “Her day is her wedding day — the other 364 days are up for grabs!”

Several readers assured the OP that she and her boyfriend have the right to get engaged whenever they please, but suggested certain ways they could minimize the impact on his sister.

“Get engaged when you want to. Just don’t do it at a wedding event or her wedding. Don’t do it too close to her wedding either — a minimum of a month or two beforehand, and give some buffer between any event and when you do it/announce it,” one person advised.

Another said: “To minimise disruption at her wedding, you could be nice and announce your engagement as early as practical. So by the time of her wedding, it’s old news.”